I married the love of my life six years ago. My husband has two elder brothers and a sister. They have a rural home with electricity and running water.
There is only one problem as far as I am concerned. Both my inlaws are still alive in their mid sixties. Everyone in my husband’s family is married and well up but when we go home my mother inlaw does not want us to share bedrooms with our spouses.
All the women are forced to go into one bedroom and so are the brothers yet there are more than enough rooms for all of us as couples. I once asked my eldest sisterinlaw and she said takangozviwanawo zvakadaro and we just complied.
Last month we went home as usual but I decided to watch a movie on my laptop in our car, my husband followed and we just decided to sleep in our car. My mother inlaw got upset, I can’t even explain her anger.
Ndakatonzi usadzoke pano kana uchida kupikisana nemutemo wemusha. I tried to ask my hubby and his brothers, it seems havatoziviwo. Now she doesn’t talk to me, she does not even respond if I send her a message.
Mai Chisamba, have you heard anything like this? She has threatened my husband about this. Am I missing something here? Who do I tell, I told my parents and they were all spellbound. Mushonga here? Imhiko here? Please help ndakutyira family yangu.
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you for writing in. Wow this is so weird, I have never heard anything like this. People should understand what marriages are about first.
Spouses share the same bed until death separates them and this is understood, who changes this? The rural home is just another location, so why can’t the parents respect their children and spouses, chasanduka chii ipapa? I don’t even know why people comply with things that they are uncomfortable with like in the case of your sisterinlaw kuti takangowanawo zvakadaro.
Why can’t the sons ask, someone should know why. Who started it and why? What will happen if this is not adhered to? Ko kana uri mushonga unongoita kumhuri chete here usingavhiringe mai nababa.
It’s obvious the parents share the bed because they have children. My advice is all families should keep their communication doors open.
People should feel free to ask why certain things are done in a certain way. There is no need for taking offense, questions should be answered transparently. My advice is rope in your parents, vatete, vamunyai and have an indaba with your inlaws and their delegation, of course, this should include your hubby. As far as I am concerned I don’t think you did anything untoward.
I don’t believe in mushonga and mapipi so I wouldn’t want to talk about that but I strongly feel that there is no need to idolise these things. I will throw this to some of our readers who may be familiar with this practice to shed more light on this.
Last but not least don’t feel threatened, talk to God the owner of the universe through prayer and all this will come to pass.