So we’ve talked about why ‘d’ pics never work, but I know there’s some crazy guy out there that’s going to try to say, “But dude, I know a girl who loves them.”
False. No girl loves them. In fact, we don’t want to see your pen_is until it’s about to bonk us. And even then, it’s iffy. In fact, if any girl tells you she likes them, she’s lying. And you should run. Nothing good is going to come from this one, pal.
There’s only two types of girls who are going to ask for a d pic. I’m here to tell you who they are.
See that ho_e over there? The one with half her punani coming out of that oversized belt she calls a skirt? You know the type.
Yeah, she’ll ask you for a pen_is pic. She’ll tell you how big you are, and how wet the sight of your pen_is makes her. She thinks this is se_xy, but really it shows what a piece of trash she is. You might as well be bonking a ratchet. But you’ll think it’s great. Easy tail. You and your noodle are going nowhere.
Let’s fast forward three weeks, when you’re sitting in your doctor’s office because it burns like molten lava when you take a leak. And to think, this all could’ve been avoided if you had just aimed your iPhone camera at something other than your now burning, blistered junk.
This is a girl I both admire and despise. Admire, because she’s got a lot of guts. Despise, because airing somebody’s naughty bits in public is low. If you’ve ever wronged this girl in the past, beware. When she asks for a snapshot of your d, it isn’t to bonk you.
This is the type of girl you probably hit up all the time, trying to bonk her. She’s the girl that’s probably always turning you down.
Or she’s the girl you used to date. (Need I say more?)
Either way, you’ve made the mistake of sending this chick a jpeg of your semi. And she’s going to use that stuff against you.
You’ve upset her in some way, shape, or form, and she’s seeking revenge. Whether she shows her best friend at the bar, or she posts it in some reddit forum on the internet – people are going to see your pen_is and judge it. Do you really want to put yourself through that kind of humiliation?
So before you hit send, think to yourself: What kind of girl am I texting right now? Is it worth an STI? Or worse, the humiliation? How about we try to keep it in your trousers, fellas. No self-respecting girl wants to see that.